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1998-06-03 20:23:19


Hamasaki's Trip Wires



Cory Hamasaki is the Hunter Thompson of mainframe programming. He's not on drugs the way Thompson was, but his prose resembles Thompson's free floating style, or at least the legend of his style.

Here is his check-off list of corporate events and appropriate personal responses. It's as good as any I've seen.

* * * * * * * *

At 500 days, we should see crazed, hiring panics, COBOL applications programmers at $150K/year W2 salary. If we don't, that means that the triage coding hasn't started and the triage and bypass systems will not be ready. It means that industry and the government still hasn't taken things seriously. At that time, I will redouble the supplies at the farm. We have a second fuel tank, it'll take a day or two to prep it and install it. I picked up some information on solar and battery banks. The tree planting is done.

At 365 days, we should see most companies and the federal government announcing that they have completed all their code changes and some of their testing. We'll see Y2K testers earning $125/hour. If we don't, the plan is to stock up on diesel, install a wood stove in the shed.

At 180 days, we should see regular statements, verifiable by independent audit firms that banks, utilities, telcos, manufacturing, distribution, etc. are 100% compliant, that unit testing is complete. Alternately, the government and suppliers should be publicizing the availability of a years worth of food and fuel. Identifying the distribution points for your neighborhood. If we don't see this, we'll start excavation of a bunker.

At 90 days, there should be significant celebrations as the first of the interconnection tests are completed. The contingency people will be building warehouses in all cities, holding drills. You will have your dated Y2K food coupon book and FEMA pamphlet on water treatment. If not, I'll be moving my personal belongings to the farm.

At 30 days, there should be regular reports on completed full live systems tests, EDI, contingencies, you should see community warehouses with Government Y2K Success Center signs. If you don't see this, it's time to move to the farm, fire up the frontloader, and build a mound across the access road.

At anytime, if rioting or civil war breaks out or Canada invades to loot and pillage Wisconsin, I'm declaring "30 days" and heading for the farm. I'm not predicting what will happen, just stipulating how I'd respond to the situation.


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